Imperfections, they make me happy

I do not have a perfect life anymore. My good grades at school are becoming mediocre. I left my boyfriend, who could have given me a perfect marriage. I do not reach home before 12am; I'm no longer that perfect daughter. But I'm getting a kick out of life, out of living, and also from my parents.

Imperfection, it appeals to me. And it's because it is something that has been lacking in my life, my perfect life. I had been sheltered, too sheltered. I never knew what the rain really felt like, tasted like. I never knew how hot the sun could be, how it could possible burn one's skin. I had only heard people talk about it, marvel at it but I never knew...until that day, I decided to take that step out, out of the very shelter that had been protecting me all this while.

I feel like a little kid crossing the road at the junction. I am amazed at the things I see on the sides of roads. Yet at the same time, I am afraid of the fast and oncoming traffic. And as I cautiously make my way through, I arrive at places I've never seen, meet people I've never met, taste food I've never tasted, feel the emotions I've never felt...

Part of me anticipates the excitement this new experience could bring, the stories I could bring back with me and share with my friends. The other part of me, fears. I fear that I could not keep up with what the people at the new places are doing. And when I do, I fear that I would never want to return to where I belong...I fear the consequences this step I've taken could bring.

But I'm glad I took the step, anyhow. Now I know how the other side looks like, feels like. I've learned how to take care of myself, to protect myself from harm and hurt. I feel alive, more alive than before. Because I had seen and felt danger, and was able to emerge from it safely, on my own. I feel stronger now, stronger to take on the other challenges and obstacles life has prepared for me.

I'm ready to move on.